too lazy to read everything you fucker? newgrounds is corny, movies need funnier jokes. games are awesome, audio is awesome. fuck pussy and smoke weed. got anything to say? comment below, we'll talk about it.
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so i remember when i first came to this site, i pretty much came all over the keyboard from watching all the adult related games. My growing hormonal raging body was accustomed to watching all the hentai games (fucking Frank's Adventure, amirite?) everyday at around 11pm. I was then addicted to watching the fucking Awesome series, which to me is still funny, but not as much anymore. Sorry Egoraptor, but dude you seriously need to work on your material, i suggest fucking your girlfriend a little harder, get some inspiration. This site has grown so much and so have I. And since i am 20 now and still fucking watching videos on this site, my sense of humour changed. i rewatched almost every single video i had stored in my favorites and i realized that most of them are not even funny. to emphasize what i am saying here is that newgrounds users are fucking retarded. its sad but it is the truth. the humor in the average user "movies" is basically saying random gibberish and dick jokes. seriously i could easily animate a character and have me just scream some shit like "FUCK, I SPILLED COFFEE ALL OVER MY DICK!" and then i would proceed to pull out the characters dick and have him rigorously jerk it off for a couple of seconds and make animalistic orgasm noises. i would then throw in pico or some fuckin madness dickhead, kill the guy who spilled coffee over himself and make nintendo references. and if you laughed to this, you're lucky that you are young, i miss laughing at those kind of jokes but its old now... really old. "But speedsk8r, you are a douche, you dont have any animations, stop bitching bro" Ok i know i didnt contribute shit to this site because all of the work i have done a couple years ago was shit, just pure shit, you dont want to watch them. All i am sayin is that you should put more thought in the humour of the movies. Fucking show it to your friends, if your friends dont laugh most of us older crowd dudes are most likely are going to laugh and think of you as the sub-urban pre-pubescent stereotype of a fat fuck that is the average newgrounder. YOUR CORNY! FUCKING BE FUNNIER! actually express your opinions and be a dick about it, with original characters, original storylines, and original art styles. stop recycling the same bullshit you see every time you log in and say "oh if i make it like that then i would get a 5. i just want to be a daily 1st derpousderpderp" the best movies are ones with originality. they are the reason why they got so popular in the first place. fucking Chuck's New Tux?? that shit was brilliant. Who the fuck is Chuck? Idk, you know why? he's an original character, made by a guy who put some thought in the writing, which makes it so damn good. I would put other examples but theres not much else to say here.
BTW rina-chan is a corny ass bitch. I re-watched all of the fucking brawl taunts and she really needs a good dicking. i am sorry but its true, actually all of the girls on newgrounds need a good dicking. I am not only gonna bash on the girls here, most of you faggots (and i am not using the term faggot as a slur, i am referring to the way Louie C.K. says faggot, which is essentially dumbass) are too addicted to dicks. Seriously, ok sure, dick jokes are funny, i laugh at my dick all the time because of how large it is (you jelly?) but if that is all you guys can come up with, then you are getting a 2 rating from me. Its not like my vote counts anyways since i dont give a fuck to vote or review anything anymore, but you get what i mean. Its time for a change. I know you guys got it, you can make it funny, you can bring more traffic to this site. I want to be able to go on newgrounds and make my girlfriend laugh for a change. I quote "Why do you still go on this site? its full of dick jokes" my reply? "the best of the best of internet phenomena's (besides 4chan) start out here first, you just gotta find them" and it has and always be that way.
Some advice to starting animators, dont fuckin join a flash team, you wont get shit done and nobody cares about your fucking team, seriously. and collabs? meh, if you really are that desperate for attention make your own shit, by yourself, i have never remembered one username from a collab. they come and they go in less then 30 seconds and usually its shitty and corny.
"But speedsk8r, how am i suppose to know whats funny and whats not funny? how am i supposed to animate it if you are setting the standards so damn high" dude, there are no standards in newgrounds, do whatever you want. it could be as offensive as possible, or wierd as fuck like my boy RomeoJR. Just submit something you wont regret in 3 years after you look back and say "omg wtf was i in 8th grade?" This post isnt intended to change your life, i am just expressing my opinion in 5 of the morning NYC time. All i want to see is good-quality 'i-want-to-show-this-to-my-friends' kind of humour that isnt just dick-jokes and cursing because anybody could do it... seriously.
if this post inspired you somehow, animate it. if this post pissed you off, comment below, or animate it offend me a bit. idc, if its funny its funny. i aint no pussy. And to the over-sensitive little 12 year olds in this site who cry because some guy wrote the truth in how shitty your animation was, get the fuck over it. You're not going to die, you just gotta try harder noob. you cant expect to be a good artist if your movie only took 30 min to make. actually, when you finish you animation, take 3 days off the computer. after those 3 days, rewatch your video, if its not funny anymore, it wont be funny the first time i see it and it will get blammed (blammed? such a faggot word).
Games? oh man, newgrounds has a lot of fucking good games. keep up the good work. sitting at the office wastin 4 hours on this site while getting paid is so worth it. I have a fetish for art games now. Makes me think. I like thinking, you know, actually using my brain. so get that cock outta your mouth and keep making those games whoever you inspired hipster artists are.
the audio portal is awesome. this site got some awesome music, if you are making a movie and you need that background badassery, use the audio portal. theyll thank you for it if you animate it right. the definitely need the credit with the effort they put in their songs.
why dont i animate anymore? i dont feel like it. why am i complaining on newgrounds? idk really just felt like saying something. do i like the feeling of inserting my dick into vagina? yes, i highly recommend it. use protection kids. was that supposed to be a dick joke? no, its a life lesson. mo money mo problems? yeah man you know what im saying.
Last but not least, i have a request. For all the potheads on newgrounds who animate, get your lazy ass up and make a marijuana related video. i havent seen one of those in a long time. some trippy/funny shit. idk, ill think of something.